Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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