Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
