I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
