I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
