I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
