Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
