We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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