I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
