If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
