We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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