Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
