i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
