FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
