I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
