You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize