i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
