SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize