K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
