It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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