He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
