Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize