just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
