Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
