I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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