Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Rumble strips road head = magical
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
