She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
