am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
