Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
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