Do you still have your period?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
