He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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