WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
