Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize