The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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