Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
