wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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