Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
