We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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