we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
bring money and cleavage
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
