Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize