I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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