So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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