I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
