She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
