I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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