Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize