in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
