the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
