I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
