This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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