He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
