So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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