Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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