i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Randomize
