Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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