I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
