Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
