He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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