im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
