I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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