After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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