Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
