Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
