I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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