No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Sext me about skeletons
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
