somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
