She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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