So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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